Anger and aftermath ...

I am sorry but I have to change the topic of today’s post. While I had written earlier that it will be about how I started loving myself, a phone call from one gentleman made me change the topic. But trust me, this post will also help you love yourself.

So I was spending a happy Saturday of a long weekend when the phone call came. While I won’t bore you with what transpired in the phone call, it was enough to spoil my mood. It was enough to make me angry and it was enough to almost make the old me (who did not love myself) getting control of the new me (who loves myself).

The few hours left of the Saturday evening was spent in brooding, resentment and other expressions of anger.

How could he say something like this? How could they think like this? I have always been like this and have succeeded, so why should I change? Thoughts started polluting my mind. Refusal to change again put its head up and I got a resulting headache, which is still lingering as I write this post.

I was on the verge of letting anger take charge and pass on my power to the other individual.

The whole night was spent in frustration, resentment and refusal to change. After I woke up today morning, the scene was no better. Then suddenly I started rediscovering the new me in me. I asked myself – am I happy with what I did in the last 42 years? Well, not completely. Did I manage to reach where I wanted to? Definitely, No. Where am I on the Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? Have I reached the top parts of the triangle (Self Actualisation)? No. I am still grappling with the Love and Belonging part.

Then why am I refusing to change? If I want the rest of my life to be the best of my life, I cannot continue the way I did for the last four decades. I have to let the new me take control. Because I want my new life to be different from my old life.

So the magical change happened again. Just while I was starting this blog, I shot off an email to the person who spoiled my Saturday. The email was not from the old me, but from the new me. The new me who was confident, who liked himself and who did not want to let go of the power through expressions of anger.

And before I finished writing this post, the response from that person came. He was showing signs of calling truce as opposed to the war he was waging yesterday. Signs of victory were in sight for the new me!

I did this because I have started loving myself. I did this because I do not want to get angry and pass on the power to the other individual. I did this because I did not want my thoughts to be clouded by the negativity of the other person.

Here’s raising a toast to the power of loving myself!